27 April 2010

Ja. Mu.

Not so intelligent now
your fingers are worn from typing
all those times you stayed up late
just to get a glimpse

Inside the library of your heart
she hides behind the Melville and the Tolstoy
waiting somewhere behind the poets and dreamers
and the ones who are neither
yet both and the same time

Crying deep tears of a lion caged in the zoo
the small fence that seems to impossibly hold him there
he could jump it if he really wanted to
then we'd all run screaming the way we should

Quaking and dancing in the parking lot
we'd all scramble home to our TV's
and tuna salad
to our stairmasters and rusted bicycles
to our swimming pools lined green and
brushed with yellow leaves from the neighbor's elm.

23 April 2010

Spring Fever

There it is again.
That springtime longing for fall's forgiveness
and the urge for summer's passion.
It gnaws and whittles away inside you
til those insides ache and you're
more unhappy than you though you ever could be.
So you read all the old letters under your bed,
smell all the T-shirts in your dresser drawers,
then line up all your shoes,
and throw away the bouquet you've had
since he told you he loved you.
But not before you save one dried blossom,
maybe a carnation,
and stick in evilly with a thumb tack to your wall.
As you press down, you watch the blood
quickly rush from your thumb,
applying way more pressure than is necessary for the job at hand.
You feel a curious satisfaction in piercing the undead flower,
and simultaneously turning your finger a weird purplish-white.
You turn off the bedroom light and lie motionless in the dark,
governed only by the moon
as she issues her feeble blue light across your bedspread.
You run your tongue across your teeth and realize
you haven't flossed in weeks.
You finger the lining of your pillowcase
and twist a strand of hair, damp from bathing,
around and around.
You re-script every conversation,
and play them again and again like an old movie..
of which you will never tire.



05 March 2010

POETRY CORNER

Just Born.

My first memories of morning
a wind I cannot name kissing my face
and speaking a language I do not yet understand.
I am naked and squirming.
Helpless, but not alone.
I do the only thing my body can figure out
and shove air through my lungs
and over my vocal chords
til my voice splits the awed silence
and everyone cries.


01 March 2010

February Obsessions

Here are some of the things that really flipped my switch this past month.

Happy March everyone! And I hope to see a lot more MUSTACHES around town...just saying.


Rita Hayworth
As incredible as it may seem, I had not seen this lady's most well-known film, Gilda (1946), until just this year. My verdict? I couldn't take my eyes off her. I found the film gloriously seductive, and a perfect Film Noir Classic to be placed right up there with Laura (1944) and Sunset Boulevard (1950). And please please download, or at least listen to, her version of Put the Blame on Mame. Love that.


Pas/Cal
I Was Raised on Matthew, Mark, Luke and Laura
All right, so call me a little slow on the uptake, but I just discovered the band Pas/Cal...well, I had heard a couple of the songs off their original EP from back in 2002, (don't we all remember I Wanna Take You Out in Your Holiday Sweater?), but this time around I actually bought the whole album and love love loved it. Lyrics include, "You've got a tripped up stutter and a stripped down hairdo like your mother's only sister, who was never known to be a looker."
Yeah, I like them.

The Book of Genesis
From angels to demons, to forbidden fruits, to murder, to floods, and beyond. The first book of the Bible just reads like a crazy novel! And once I start reading I can't put it down.

Jogging
Being active means staying active, so this month I decided to start jogging every day.
Jogging has so many benefits, both physical and mental, like stronger core muscles and reduction of overall anxiety. I think that this decision is one of the best I've made for myself. Ever.

26 February 2010

Legend Has It

A favorite memory of mine from my home schooled days is when my Mom would sit down with my sister and brother and I and read to us from big books about Greek and Norse mythology. I always loved to hear the intricate and sometimes scandalous stories of the gods and goddesses and how they would not only get into trouble themselves, but the way they often meddled in the affairs of us humans.
Now, I have to say, I have not read up on my mythology for a few years...since I took a class called Introduction to Classical Mythology circa 2006. But my interest was piqued once more while reading the Bible yesterday. I had been reading the story of Cain and Abel when I came upon Genesis 6:4, which talks about the Nephilim, supposedly fallen angels, who "saw how beautiful the daughters of men were, and so took for their wives as many of them as they chose." I was really intrigued by this, and reminded of how often this theme of immortal beings mingling with mortals appears throughout classical mythology. After reading this Genesis passage, I immediately began to dig through my Mom's old books and happily uncovered quite an extensive collection of literature on the subject.
I thought I'd share some of my favorite findings:


Mirror, Mirror on the wall
At the wish of Zeus, Thetis, the sea goddess, and Peleus, son of Aeacus, were married. But during the wedding feast, Eris, the goddess of strife, became angry that she had not been invited. So in an effort to spoil the day, she threw down a golden apple which said, "To the Fairest."
The apple landed at the feet of the three lovely goddesses, Athena, Hera and Aphrodite, who began to bicker over who the golden fruit was intended for. Immediately Zeus appointed Paris, a young prince, to judge to contest. Each goddess promised Paris wonderful gifts if he named her the winner, but when Aphrodite pledged that she would make Helen of Troy his wife, he quickly gave the apple to Aphrodite...and went on to elope with Helen, which was the single act that brought about the Trojan War.

Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring
(This story doesn't have to do with mortals, but it is one tale that I always enjoyed hearing retold.)
Even Hades, god of the Netherworld, was not immune to love. The legend has it that as he drove his iron chariot through the land one day, he spotted Persephone, the beautiful daughter of Demeter, goddess of fertility. Falling instantly in love with her, Hades swiftly scooped the girl into his chariot and whisked her down into the Netherworld to be his bride. Demeter soon realized that her daughter was missing and frantically began a search. After days of scouring the land, she finally learned of her daughter's fate from a sea nymph called Arethusa, who had witnessed the abduction. Demeter immediately began to grieve her lost child, and the whole world became barren because of her sadness.
But Zeus, seeing Demeter's distress, commanded that Hades return the girl to the arms of her Mother...however, this could only take place if Persephone had not eaten anything while in Hades' kingdom. Alas! The girl had been tempted to eat the juicy seeds of a pomegranate there, and thus was bound to her unsavory spouse.
Demeter once more became miserable and filled the earth with her wrath. But Zeus had pity on her and decreed that Persephone's life would henceforth be split between her Mother and her husband--each spending half the year with her. So now when Demeter and Persephone are united, the earth is lush and beautiful in springtime and summer. But when Hades comes to claim his bride, Demeter's sorrow covers the earth in a wintery blanket of wind, rain and snow.

A Galaxy is Born
The mythological origin of our Milky Way Galaxy involves Zeus, Hera, a woman named Alcmene, and the infant Hercules.
Zeus, though married to Hera, queen of heaven, was quite the womanizer, and would go to great lengths to woo the women he desired. One of his conquests was a woman named Alcmene. This mortal queen had Zeus so infatuated that he disguised himself as her husband and bedded her. The result of this union was the hero Hercules. After his birth, Alcmene feared that Hera would find the boy and know he was a child of Zeus, so she brought him to a nearby field and left him, sure that Zeus would find a way to care for their child. It was then that Hera stumbled upon the infant, and not knowing who he was, she pitied the babe and attempted to nurse him herself. But the little one was incredibly strong, and when Hercules began to suckle, Hera pulled back her breast in pain. As a result, some of her milk went shooting into the heavens, producing a new galaxy, a word that is derived from the greek gala, which means milk.

Lady in the Water
Hylas was a young man who kept company with the Argonauts, a group of heroes who sailed with Jason after the golden fleece. Known for his youthful beauty, Hylas was soon taken under the wing of the mighty Hercules, who loved him like a son.
During one their many exploits, a great storm hit their vessel. As the Argonauts attempted to maneuver through the turbulent waves, Hercules broke his oar, which had been made especially to match the strength of his arms. The next day they went ashore and Hercules withdrew into the forest to cut himself a new one from a tall pine tree. With him went the beautiful Hylas, who had been instructed to draw water from the stream for their supper. But in said stream dwelt a bevy of water nymphs, known for their curious and often jealous tendencies. Seeing the youth approaching their waters, and taken with his beauty, the nymphs decided that they would have him for their own. So as he tipped his pitcher into the stream, they cast their arms about him and dragged the young man into their underwater lair, never to be seen again.

16 February 2010

A conversation of great importance.


HER: So...are you cool with how things are right now?
HIM: My day was pretty empty. I watched an old movie that I love and found out I don't even like it anymore.
HER: With us, I mean. Are you OK with it?
HIM: I am a pigeon of Capistrano...or is it a swallow? I can never remember anything about birds. Those damn swallow-pigeons are determined. They fly across the ocean holding sticks in their beaks so they'll have a place to land on the water.
HER: I've been thinking about you a lot. I miss you.
HIM: My leg just fell asleep. I've been sitting on it this whole time. I shouldn't do that anymore. I think permanent damage could probably be done if that kind of behavior is repeated often enough.
HER: I miss us. I want to know if you could ever give me another chance?
HIM: I used to have style, but I threw out all my scarves and the snarky shoes that I kept in a box at the foot of my bed. I feel depleted in a vain sort of way.
HER: Well, I want you to know that if you are willing to give us a second chance, I'm willing too.
HIM: A lot of people think that colors are just colors...but color is actually light reflecting off different surfaces. This is the kind of stuff we learn in school these days. How is that information supposed to assist my growth as a human?
HER: I could be falling in love with you.
HIM: My Mom told me once that she loved me as big as the sky. But seriously, that's not even possible. I mean, no one even knows how big the sky is. It's ridiculous to compare love to something you're not even sure of. She should have said, 'I love you as big as my car', or 'I love you as big as this sandwich.' Unless, of course, this love she's talking about is in fact too big for her to measure. I hadn't thought of that before.
HER: I think I love you as big as the sky.
HIM: What? Did you say something? Could you repeat the question?

14 February 2010

Love is



Little things, pretty things--
Arrows and hearts and torches--roses red,
And violets blue--are these all? Come away,
And breathe fresh air! Must we keep on and on
Sipping stale honey out of tiny cups
Decorated with golden tracery,
Drop by drop all day long? We are alive;
We thirst--Come away, plunge, and drink and drown
In this great river flowing to the sea!

-Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac